Think its time for a Monday servicing. I have all my pets groomed and ready. Invited some friends over. Lets see who cums first.

The top ten reasons nipple rings are a GOOD idea:

#10. You gain a new and much higher threshold for pain. #9. You have more than just your purse to keep from losing your car keys. #8. With a little body english and a short copper wire, you can pick up pay-per-view if the weather is right. #7. You can now jump car batteries without cables. #6. With only a spinning table and spot light you can earn extra cash renting yourself out to Club parties. #5. Those nasty stretch marks are no longer the center of attention for your husband or boyfriend. #4. You always have a ready replacement if you lose your wedding ring. #3. Every elf in the universe is now your loyal friend for life. #2. Hanging ten is childs play. Hanging by two?? Now thats impressive! #1. Hard vibrators can be "way more" than a girl's best friend.

The top ten reasons nipple rings are a BAD idea:

#10. Perpetual delays at airport security scanners. #9. Potential law suits from elderly people with pacemakers. #8. A friend asks to see your ring and in a blonde moment you almost do it. #7. For some reason, combs will seem like threats. #6. Mud wrestling as an occupation is no longer an option. #5. Cats and babies are attracted to shiny things. #4. You'll now have to deal with Velcro nightmares. #3. The aging process has taken on a whole new meaning. #2. Skinny dipping is a real challenge because of your artificial lures. #1. Lightning... it's not just something that happens to other people anymore.

You know you are kinky when ....

... You hear about a Bridal Fashion Show to be held in your town, and you think, "Cool! I've always wanted to see what pony gear looks like ON someone!"

... Your entire Music collection consists of music you can Scene to.

... You give a new song a rating of 65....it's got a good beat and you can squirm to it.

... You start to salivate and get aroused as you pass the local candle factory.

... You always smell like Yankee Candle's Scent-Of-The-Month.

... Canning season gets you *really* excited.

... Citibank calls you because someone used your credit card to make a huge purchase at a tack shop in another state, and they know that you live in a metropolitan area and don't own a horse.

... You make your vacation destination decisions based on that area's Assault and Battery, Consent, and Sexual Deviance laws.

... Your Avon Representative politely informs you that the company has no plans to make that Eau de Leather scent you have been pestering them about.

... Your idea of Fantasy Island looks far more like "Exit to Eden" than anything they showed on TV.

... They know you by name, size, and favorite colors at *four* local leather shops.

... You need an 18-wheeler to haul all your toys to a party.

I loved this....

True Masochist to a True Sadist: Hurt me. True Sadist to a True Masochist: No.

A oldie but goodie.

Q: What's the difference between Sensuous and Kinky?

A: Sensuous they use the feather, Kinky they use the whole chicken.